Never lost for long

This is the way is sometimes goes. My heart gets broken and I get sad, really sad. I then get angry, with her a little, with me, with the strictures of society and its limiting views. Then I get determined. To do better, to not succumb to sadness or anger, to continue on the path for the treasure I seek. Always, always, I continue to walk on the path. I may get pushed out into the woods, chased by a bear, nicked up by briars, but I always find the path again. Always. It's the compass that keeps me on the proper path.

I hate being angry and sad. They are unnatural and awful states for me to be in. They feel dark, unwelcoming. They try to sap my strength, wear me down, make me surrender. They want to keep me bottled up. Maybe sometimes I should stay bottled up, to save myself the grief. But the sadness and anger that can sometimes come with opening the bottle is better than keeping the bottle closed. The anger and the sadness come, I work through it, and keep moving, never shackled by it.

It's like a couple of Nike commercials I've seen this football season. You see one star, on offense, running through, over and around defenders, in all kinds of weather, determined to stop him, but they can't. Then you see a defender, running through over and around offenses, in all kinds of weather. They can't stop him, as much as they try. The runners keep moving. I have to stay on the path toward my treasure.

I want someone to share on the path to the treasure. To understand that while I'm flawed, I still have enough strength to carry them past the bears and the briars. A lover, a friend, a partner, a confidante on the path. That's what I want.