Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Unconventional

Conventional wisdom would say that I am many sad things right now. Or should be. Lonely, hanging on, lovelorn, desperate, needy.

I am living proof why you should give conventional wisdom the good swift kick in the butt it rightfully deserves.

The surface of me can't tell you what the core holds. The experience has made me stronger, open, ready. Going through everything I have in recent months has fortified my soul. Nourished it. It continues to nourish me.

Every day is new and fresh, though from reading the blog, you might not think so. I live greater, better, everyday now because of the experience.

If you've ever been devastated from love, you're not supposed to recover quickly, so the thinking goes. You're supposed to spend months in the desert, crawling, looking up at the sky forlornly and wondering why.

No.

There is something deep in me that refuses to suffer for long. Suffering is normal, human. Wallowing in it is not. Read these pages. The words you see are not from a man wallowing. These are the words of a man telling the world who he is and what he can do for a woman.

There is something deep in me that wants to thrive. To overcome. To scale the walls. To defy the stereotypes. To defy the limits.

There is something deep in me that wants to live the symbol of yin and yang.

I hear songs about love lost, and I wonder. What did they do to overcome? Or did they even bother, choosing to wallow instead?

Sometimes I stray off into pushing a tad too hard. As I've said before, I'm sorry.

I submit to you that I haven't broken any rules. I am changing the paradigm. From one of hiding, cowering, wallowing. To one of joy, hope, giving, receiving.

I want to be everything good and great that a man can be to a woman.

It's not stubbornness or arrogance that has me where I am. I believe it what I am, what I can give and what I can receive.

I am more than a seeker. I am a finder. A discoverer.


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